Been worried that the Wyoming Republican Party has gotten too
liberal? Alas, somebody is doing
something about it. The CROWs (Conservative Republicans of Wyoming) are coming
to the rescue. CROW has a website (crowyoming.org) and has begun issuing hunting
licenses for RINO’s. Not the African jungle kind. These RINOs are “Republicans
in name only.” CROW has sited them wandering the halls of the legislature,
dressed in GOP garb, but voting like liberal, godless Democrats.
RINOs have no principles according to CROW. But the
CROWs have their own.
Excuse my paraphrase…God is great, Man is not, government is bad, the family,
only as defined by CROW, is more important than any individual, government
exists only to fight wars, keep “those people” (my words) out and to protect
life beginning, as determined by those who disdain science, at conception. CROW
will assure laws are passed at the lowest common denominator, “a rigorously
originalist interpretation of the United States Constitution” and prohibit
government from doing anything for anyone that they should be doing for
themselves.
And
the one I find most darkly entertaining: “That the genius of Western Civilization, manifested by and
through its enduring faith, principles and wisdom, inherited and refined
through the long historical experience of successive generations, constitutes
an unsurpassed spiritual, philosophical and cultural endowment that is
worthy of defense and perpetuation.”
These
rights are to be protected through “vigilance by an armed, informed, and
involved citizenry.”
“Armed,
informed, and involved.” I can’t get the image of Elmer Fudd out of my head.
Elmer's hat, gun and signature catchphrase, "Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm
hunting wabbits.” CROW is “hunting winos,” I mean RINOs. They are, as all hunters should be, very
serious about it. From crowwyoming.org. “RINO Hunters:
As a part of CROW’s mission to recruit and elect conservative Republican
leaders, it may become necessary to identify liberal Republican officials for
removal, either for purposes of rehabilitation or permanent retirement from any
position of trust within the Republican Party.”
“Liberal
Republican officials”? They’re about as plentiful on the Wyoming plains as
Jackalopes. But, they will be found and removed. If they cannot be
rehabilitated, they will be retired. Sounds like what happened to Khrushchev?
The
CROWs website assures all “removals” will be conducted with “due process.”
“CROW has amassed extensive documentation of Republican elected officials and
Party officers who have deliberately undermined fellow Republicans,
conservative legislation, and conservative principles in general.” You know who
you are. Turn your self if you know what’s good for you.
If
you want to become a CROW it’s not easy. “Membership in CROW is by invitation only, and contingent upon the
completion of a signed affirmation of conservative understanding and intent.”
The
CROWs seek to assure the purity of their membership. Before you get your
decoder ring and learn the secret handshake, you’ll need at least three other
CROWs to vouch for your conservative credentials. Even then you don’t receive
your hooded robe until you are voted in at a secret meeting of the politburo.
Never
fear. You can still participate in the RINO hunt. “CROW members and non-members
alike are encouraged to submit their evidence of such things” i.e. RINOs in Elephant
costumes. So if any of the fellow travelers have any dope on any of the
traitors, submit it.
To
paraphrase that great American Joe McCarthy (who was certainly not a RINO), “I
have here in my hand a list of 205 . . . a list of names that were made known
to CROW as being members of the RINO Party and who nevertheless are still
working and shaping policy in the Wyoming state legislature.”
Like
Looney Tunes, the GOP primary should be great fun to watch. The CROWs vs. The
RINOs. Elmer vs. Buggs. "Oh, you
dubbuh-cwossing winos! You tweachewous
miscweants!"
For
more information, a hunting license and your own Elmer Fudd hat, contact CROW
at Conservative Republicans of Wyoming,
P.O. Box 2684,
Cheyenne, WY… zip code e-i-e-i-o.
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