Who'll pay the tab if Wyoming secedes?

On November 6^th a democratic election determined most of America disagreed with most of Wyoming on who should be President. Days later petitions were filed with the White House asking that Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama, and the Cowboy State be allowed to secede.

Wyoming’s petition reads, “We the people of the great state of Wyoming, do see that in today's world the Federal Government has not led our citizens justly and with honor. We therefore as free men and women of our great state do believe that it is time to take matter (sic) upon ourselves to ensure our continued freedom, and to enact our own laws and here buy (sic) govern ourselves without the federal government's involvement in our internal matters from this day forward.”

The petition currently has 9200 signatures. Curiously, the vast majority of signers don’t live in Wyoming. Signatures appear from New Hampshire, Oregon, Michigan, California, New York and other states all asking the President to grant Wyoming a divorce.

Columnist Paul Vandevelder explained what a custody agreement might look like in the event of the Union’s divorce. “We get Bill and Hillary, the Obamas, Elizabeth Warren and the new Kennedy kid, and you get Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Bobby Jindal, Jim DeMint, Mitch McConnell, and Todd Akin. (NOTE: We will toss in John McCain as well.) And just so there's no confusion, we get the Statue of Liberty, the Cascades, Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Disneyland and Hollywood. You get Opryland, Dollywood, the Smokies, Six Flags Over Texas and Branson. And while we're at it, we get Intel, Apple, Twitter and Google; you get Halliburton, Enron and Dell (good luck with that).”

Many Wyomingites believe irreconcilable differences have arisen in our national marriage. Recently the New York Times discussed Wyoming’s reaction to the presidential election saying, “a blanket of baffled worry has descended on conservatives here like early snow across the plains, deepening a sense that traditional, rural and overwhelmingly white states in the center of the country are losing touch with an increasingly diverse and urban American electorate.”

The article quoted two of the “baffled worriers.” M. Lee Hasenauer, Laramie County’s newest commissioner, advocated revolution. The Tea Partier expressed regrets our democracy produced a second term for Barack Obama. “Something is way wrong,” he said. “It may take a revolution to straighten out our government.”

Another of the “baffled” was Brad Harrington, a talk show talker who publishes a rightwing newspaper called “Liberty’s Torch.” Harrington told the Times the election “vindicated conservative politicians and commentators who talked about the 47 percent of Americans who pay no income tax, about makers and takers.” Harrington divided us into two groups…the parasites and the producers, opining, “The parasites now outnumber the producers.”

Harrington believes Obama voters are parasites and Romney supporters are producers. It’s uncertain what else qualifies him to be a “producer” but it’s clear Wyoming could be seen as a parasite by those taxpayers around the country who signed the petition. The word parasite comes from the Medieval French word parasite, meaning "one who eats at the table of another." Webster says parasites depend on someone else for existence without making a useful return.

Wyoming “eats at the table of another.” We would be big losers in this divorce. Although Wyoming voted for the “producer” candidate we depend heavily on taxpayers from the other 49 states for support, consuming more federal dollars per man, woman and child than any other state. If those out-of-staters who signed our petition get their way, that could change when the feds move their Air Force base and all their employees, stop paying for mineral royalties, healthcare, education, road construction, child welfare, etc. Wyomingites would have to actually become producers rather than depending on someone else for support.

If I lived somewhere else and had to pick up Wyoming’s tab, I’d want a divorce. Since I live in Wyoming, I guess I’ll just be thankful to be a part of this great country and try harder to make the marriage work.