WYO legislators say the darndest things

Are you old enough to remember Art Linkletter’s book “Kids Say the Darndest Things”?  Mr. Linkletter wasn’t around long enough to listen to Wyoming’s legislators and lobbyists who say whatever it takes to influence votes. The difference between them and Linkletter’s children is that when these adults say “the darndest things,” we get laws, not laughter.

The most memorable quotes of the recent legislative session came from fundamentalist Christians who can’t distinguish the pulpit of their church from the podium on the floor of the state legislature.  

Discussing abortion rights, several legislators avoided the Constitution altogether, citing instead their personal religious beliefs and dragged Jesus into the debate.

As a prelude to his vote setting women’s rights back 50 years, Campbell County Representative Roy Edwards went public with a private conversation held 20 years ago. He claims the woman was “wracked with guilt” about an abortion she had as a teenager until “she accepted Jesus as her savior.”

Debating the death penalty, Rep. Rev. Scott Clem, another Gillette Republican, offered a rather odd, rather anti-conservative, interpretation of a Bible verse in support of his vote to retain the death penalty. Overlooking that time when God said in perfect Hebrew, “Vengeance is mine,” Clem preached, “God ordained the government and gave it the power of retribution.”

The Senate debate was dignified until two Laramie County legislators stood. Using a complete non sequitur Anthony Bouchard warned repeal would make us like California where, he said,  inmates receive taxpayer-funded gender-reassignment surgery. That has nothing to do with capital punishment. However, it did give Bouchard a chance to take a gratuitous cheap-shot at Transgender folks.  

Senator Lynn Hutchings is exceedingly prolific when it comes to saying the darndest things. Everyone is familiar with her assertion that protecting LGBTQ folks from discrimination is like approving sex with children, and dogs.

Opposing the repeal of the death penalty, Hutchings sermonized that “the greatest man who ever lived died via the death penalty.” If he had not been executed, there would be “no hope” for the rest of us. The implication was that, despite his innocence, the government could still execute Jesus. So, why not other innocent folks?

Jesus would have rolled over in his tomb if he’d still been there.

Some actions spoke louder than words. That’s often the case in politics. About LGBT human beings, Pope Francis proclaimed, “You can’t marginalize these people.” However, in a display of unity not seen since before the Reformation, Wyoming’s Catholic leadership colluded with extremist Protestants branding themselves “the Wyoming Pastor’s Network,” to euthanize the anti-discrimination bill and marginalize gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexual citizens.

The aforementioned Representative Edwards conjured a scenario where females could be hired and then, to use his word, “flip” their gender, become men, and sue the pants off of the unsuspecting boss.

“Brother Love’s Travelin’ Salvation Show” starred a self-identified woman proclaiming herself an “ex-queer.” Just like turning water into wine, “poof,” this lesbian proclaims she became straight. Hallelujah. Once, she told lawmakers, she did things she won’t talk about. Now, she does things we don’t want to hear about. Verily she saith unto you, LGBTQ people are mentally-ill pretenders, undeserving of non-discrimination protection.

Republican Party leaders are convinced Mark Gordon used Democratic votes to rob Foster Friess of the governorship. They employed heavy-handed tactics trying to pass a bill preventing non-Republicans from voting in GOP primaries. Albany County senator Glenn Moniz bravely asserted, “I was elected by my constituents in Albany County to represent them. I do not succumb to intimidation or threats by anybody.” Moniz then succumbed to his party’s threats and voted for their bill.  

Eli Bebout, a senator representing no one but himself, sponsored legislation reducing his own severance taxes. He said corporate welfare was necessary given falling oil prices. However, Bebout supported elimination of funding for cervical and breast cancer monitoring. There are times, he reasoned, when responsible legislators must simply say no.

Darned legislators say the darndest things. Darned voters elect the darndest legislators.