Sunday, January 22, 2017

WIT: No reality but virtual

Are you aware of the mind-blowing work of the Wyoming Institute of Technology (WIT), a Cheyenne think tank? In the course of a book study at Highlands Presbyterian, we happened upon this little-known jewel in Cheyenne’s bedazzled crown.

We were reading “Caring for Creation-The Evangelical’s Guide to Climate Change.” Mitch Hescox and Paul Douglas, conservative Christians and life-long Republicans, are the authors. They are optimists when it comes to believing the U.S. can meet the challenges of climate change, which they document as a genuine threat to our children’s lives and liberties.

Among their reasons for optimism are renewable energy sources such as solar. They call it a “no-brainer,” which brings me to WIT. While preparing for one book-study session, I came across an Internet article on solar energy in the “National Report,” branding itself “the place where the lame-stream media leaves off, we pick up.”

Among headlines like “Trump to limit all intelligence briefings to 140 characters,” and “Anti-vaxxer parents refuse to check kids’ trick or treat candy before they eat it,” was discovered the widely-circulated story about how solar panels are draining the sun’s energy. It’s a climate-change-denier dream piece of research conducted in Cheyenne by the Wyoming Institute of Technology.

We hadn’t heard of the facility. They aren’t in the phone book. However, we found their webpage, WIT exists not in any reality but virtual.

Originally called the “Wyoming Institute of Education and Nuclear Energy Research,” the acronym proved undignified. The name was changed.

WIT shocked the science world when it discovered the dangers of relying on solar energy. Institute scientists found that in a process they referred to as “forced photovoltaic drainage” solar panels are draining the sun’s energy. The use of solar will eventually extinguish the sun. That’s only the tip of the WIT iceberg.

WIT scientist Dr. Joan Collins made another discovery that may bode well for Donald Trump’s other part time job as producer of “The Apprentice.” Dr. Joan scanned the brains of 100 meth addicts and 100 others who regularly watch reality TV. She found that watching reality TV produces the same impact on the human brain as extensive meth use.

Another WIT project studied 2955 Americans. WIT concluded Radio Frequency Identification Chips, long thought to have been secretly planted in the wrists of unsuspecting citizens, have been in fact implanted in their tooth fillings. WIT’s website acknowledges, “More investigation is required to understand the significance of this finding.

Five years ago, according to WIT, the Vatican came calling, seeking help cataloging some of their precious relics. Among them was the spear allegedly used by the centurion to pierce Jesus’s side. Using DNA from the relic, WIT scientists undertook efforts to clone Jesus. Despite consequent death threats, WIT says it “remains committed to morally guided, ethical based research no matter what the cost.”

Want to tour WIT’s Cheyenne lab? Most facilities are closed “due to security and safety concerns.” Their webpage says tours can sometimes be arranged. Visitors need to know they’ll be “stripped and searched inside and out for weapons, camera devices, cell phones, notepads, etc.” Muslim visitors must be approved by the Department of Homeland Security. Everyone must be willing to take an iodine tablet if touring “the Hall of Plutonium.”

At WIT, sarcasm trumps science.

Among all the uses to which WIT “scientists” put sarcasm, perhaps none is more sarcastic than their assertion that the faux think tank is located in Wyoming’s capital city.

Why would a sarcastic-science website be cyber-located in Cheyenne? Simple. Because that’s where legislators generate embarrassing national publicity with bathroom-control bills and proposals penalizing utilities for providing consumers with wind or solar energy, criminalizing data collection on public lands, and repealing science education standards because most legislators didn’t want Wyoming’s children to learn the truth about climate change.

WIT’s studies of Wyoming legislators discovered the truth in what humorist Christopher Moore said, “It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm only to have it abused by amateurs.”


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