Recently I met a young man transitioning from being a female
to being the male God created him to be…A.J. is a mechanic. He told me the
story of a day when a customer noticed the initials embroidered on the pocket
of his uniform.
“What does “A.J.” stand for?”
A.J. hesitated. Friendly co-workers listened to hear how the
young man would answer. Then A.J. said,
“Amanda Jo.” Co-workers laughed with A.J. The customer gave a discombobulated smile.
The Psalmist talked about A.J. when writing, “You created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.” (139:13) A.J. is the “T” or
transgender in GLBTQ. We met at a Human Rights Campaign town-hall meeting at Highlands
Presbyterian Church, where I am the pastor. That evening 65-70 of us gathered
to talk about the experiences of lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, and
questioning people in our community. Some spoke of discrimination they suffered
on the job, at school, in churches, and among friends and family. Others spoke
of acceptance and support they had received in those same venues.
With each passing day the walls of injustice targeting gays
and lesbians come toppling down. Corporate America took the lead. Good business
people recognize the contribution good employees make to their company’s
success. Courts are interpreting the Constitution to prohibit state-sponsored
discrimination.
Having had a gay brother and many gay and lesbian friends, I
have a greater understanding of those issues and a vocabulary with which to
discuss them. But I confess the need to grow in my understanding of what it
means to be transgender. A.J. was willing to teach me.
A.J. told me that as a youngster he knew that “she” was
really “he.” Amanda Jo always assumed a male role in play. As a teen, A.J. self-identified
as a lesbian. But, he said, something was missing. “I realized there was more
to me than being a lesbian.” He came to understand that he was living in a
female’s body.
The
American Psychiatric Association has an official diagnosis for what A.J.
experienced: “gender dysphoria.” It describes humans with “a marked
incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and (his or her) assigned
gender.” The APA acknowledges there’s nothing
inherently wrong with being transgender. Transgender identity is not the
problem. The problem is societal gender constructions that create difficulties
for people seeking to live lives of integrity.
The
medical community needs a diagnostic term before providing transition medical treatment.
There are medical standards of care for transitioning genders, including long-term
psychological therapy to prepare mentally for what lies ahead.
For
a female-to-male transgender, there is a lifetime of testosterone therapy, which induces masculinizing
physical changes such as voice and body shape while maintaining the presence of
masculine secondary sex characteristics. Later there may also be chest and
genital reconstruction surgeries.
A.J. has support
from most of his family and friends as well as his co-workers and employer. He
told me his teenage children jokingly call him “MAD” for “mother and dad.” It’s
a different story with his health insurance company. The high costs of medical
care come from his pocket. Even though the medical community recognizes the legitimacy
of gender dysphoria, some insurance companies don’t.
Many transgender
people haven’t enjoyed the same level of support. He’s been courageous, open,
and honest, finding that those who care about him want what is best for A.J. But
for many, “coming out” is yet unsafe. The challenge for advocates is to create
the safety that allows greater numbers to come out to their friends, neighbors,
employers, and family members.
Knowing someone
changes hearts. Changed hearts bring changed minds.
Many people may
never understand transgender. That’s not an excuse for an unwillingness to
accept others for who they are. There’s so much about God’s creation that we
may never fully understand. But understanding transgender is easier because people
like A.J. are willing to dialogue with those wanting to learn.
Ultimately, God
doesn’t call on us to “understand” one another but to love one another.
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